Getting a Job After College: You’re Doing Everything Wrong

The second time I graduated from college, I expected to do better with my second degree. I didn’t, but today I realized where I went wrong, so I have some advice for college students.

Getting a job after college was never easy, or so I’m told repeatedly by my parents. However, I think it’s safe to say it’s a lot harder today. After I graduated with my second degree, I applied for job after job, only to receive one rejection letter after another. At one point, a former professor tried to help me out by sending me a job posting for an “entry level” position. This job required TWO YEARS OF EXPERIENCE in the field. For an ENTRY LEVEL position. I applied anyway, but as expected, I got another lovely rejection letter.(Eventually, I did find a job that paid like I was a college graduate and not a kindergarten dropout, but that lasted six months before I was replaced by a $10/hr, no-benefits intern.)

Today, I realized why I had such a hard time finding even an entry-level position after graduating. I thought it was all about my lack of experience, and wasted hours doing volunteer work for people who never recommended me for paid work, and applying for internships I was turned down for because I was no longer a student (“It’s a legal thing…”) What I should have done was find a rich relative to donate a bunch of money on my behalf to some political party. You see, I learned today that while you need two years of experience in your field to be hired for an entry-level position, all you have to do is have your family donate millions to a political party and you can get a high-paying cabinet position with ZERO work experience in your field!

when-you-realize-jeuetg

 

Then again, if I had millions or had any rich relatives who had millions, I wouldn’t need a job in the first place….

 

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